The Night before Christmas Tokyo3
by SirROTGUT
Summary: A new Take on an old classic.
1. Misato's

Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion is owned by Gainax

The Night before Christmas written by: Clement Clarke Moore

The Night Before Christmas Tokyo-3

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Pad  
PenPen sleeping quietly , the only pet that we had.  
Misato's clothes were strewn about without care,  
in hopes that I would clean them while I was there.

With Asuka gone to Hikaris for the night,  
the chance for some good sleep was looking bright.  
And Misato in her cutoffs, and I with my S-dat,  
had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.

When out on the patio there arose such a clatter,  
I sprang from my futon to see what was the matter.  
Away to the window I flew like a flash,  
stumped my toe on the doorframe, and tripped on the trash.

The moon on the surface of the concrete white like snow

gave the lustre of midday to objects below,  
when, what to my wondering eyes should appear,  
but a Turbo Supra that sported No-fear.

With a svelte young driver, that shouted out Baka,  
I knew in that moment that it was Asuka.  
With a clap of thunder, It blew off it's boost,  
and it whistled and rumbled and shook like a man on a noose:

"Now Baka! Hey Baka!  
Ain't I a Vixen!  
Come down, Come down,"

She stood down there bitchin!

She Went To the Fourth floor!  
To the End of the hall!

"I musn't run! Musn't run away !  
I musn't run away at all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,  
when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky  
so up to the Front door the Red head then flew,  
with a hand full of clothes, and a can of woop ass too.

And then, The jingling, I heard at the door  
the beating and banging of the half German whore.  
As I drew in a deep breath and started to head out the back,  
I heard the front door buckle under the relentless attack.

She was dressed all in Red, from her head to her foot,  
and her clothes were overly revealing, I dared not look.  
A bundle of clothes she had wrapped in a sheet,  
and she looked like a peddler just in from the street.

Her eyes--how they sparkled! Her dimples, how merry!  
Her face like an Angels, how I wanted her cherry!  
Her droll little mouth was drawn up in a smile,  
and that look on her face, it was going to be a while.  
Her dress it was Tight with a slit up the thigh.  
and her legs were gorgeous enough to make a man die.  
She had a marvelous ass and a nice set of Tits,  
that bounced when she giggled, and it gave me the fits.

She wasn't chubby and plump, Like the jolly old Elf  
and I drooled when I saw her, in spite of myself.  
A wink of her eye and a twist of her head  
soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,  
and fumbled with my zipper, then gave it a jerk.  
And laying her finger to the side of her face,  
She gave an affirming nod, and I knew my place.

I sprang to attention, for this moment she waited,  
And when she finally went down I almost fainted.  
But I heard her exclaim, after she finished the deed,

"Merry Christmas Shinji, and I'm all you need"


	2. The Geofront

Disclaimer: see chapter one

I've decided to do another story based on this poem and may do more in the future.

I would like to thank all those who reviwed chapter one

The Night before Christmas: Geofront

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Geofront.

Not a person was stirring, not even the grunts.

The Evangelions were placed in the cages with care,  
In hopes that they wouldn't berserk, and from their bindings tear.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,  
While visions of Angels assaulted their heads.  
And I in my boxers, and Ritsuko in her coat,  
We was just getting ready to rock the boat.

When out from below there arose such a clatter,  
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.  
Away to the Magi not caring who we flash  
We turned on all the cameras, which maxed out the burst cache.

The light that reflected off of marshmallow lady  
Was actually quite adequate but still a little shady.  
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,  
But a miniature Angel, It was Kaworu that queer.

And with his sharp wit, so lively and quick,  
I knew in a moment I was going to be sick.  
More rapid than eagles his curses they came,  
And he whistled, and shouted, and thought it a game!

"Now Gendou! now, Ritsuko! now, Misato and Shinji!  
Oh, Rei one, two, and three don't be so stingy!"  
To the top of the boat! to the top of the cross!  
"You know who sent me it was Keel your boss!"

As mere mortal before AT fields, splatter like goop,  
When met with Anti AT fields, just turn to soup  
So up to Lilith the boy angel did fly,  
but I knew from the beginning I didn't ask why.

And then, in that moment, I heard him command.  
The Tearing and prying of lillith began.  
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,  
Down the service shaft came a great booming sound.

Standing Forty meters, decked out in purple and green.  
Was my lovely wife Yui looking desperate and mean.  
She whipped out her prog knife, her pride and joy,  
And was looking to kill that poor little boy.

His eyes-how they widened! and then how they twitched!  
To think he could be outdone, by this oversized bitch!  
His droll little mouth was drawn up in a smile,  
The lilim had no idea of his cunning and guile.

The tip of his finger he pointed at the beast,  
And the nimbus therein spread out like a wreath.  
This is the light of my soul, a barrier which no man shall pass,  
He said as he shook his head, and let loose the blast !

I knew right then, this was mankind's final test,  
And I cried out in terror, despite my best!  
The glow in her eyes faded as she fell on her back,  
My precious Yui defeated with one single attack.

She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,  
And ReiIII went to Terminal Dogma to deal with the with the jerk.  
And laying her fist upside the boys face,  
His head popped off to land in the lake at that place!

Now she went up to Gendou, seeing as how the battle was won,  
And Gendou gave her a hand as his arm came undone.  
Then I heard her exclaim, 'as her wings unfurled,  
"Happy Christmas to all, and all is right with the world!"


End file.
